There’s no shortage of resources for expecting mothers, but sometimes, no matter how much you prepare, you won’t be ready for what life throws at you.
Debbie, like many mothers, spent her pregnancy reading books on childbirth and parenting, attending classes on birthing, and going to appointments for her pregnancy.
One of the classes she took was on hypnobirthing, a form of self-hypnosis invented by hypnotherapist Marie Mongan, which is designed to help mothers manage pain and get through labor. Certainly, Debbie did her due diligence, and by anyone’s measure, she was as ready as she could be for the birth of her son.
All that changed the moment she walked into the maternity ward. Looking back on her experience, Debbie says she felt unsupported and misunderstood.
See, Debbie had planned on a drug free vaginal birth, but like many mothers, her actual birth was nothing like her plan.
Debbie’s labor was quite intense, and it became quickly apparent that her hypnobirthing strategies were not helping. Debbie’s blood pressure rose quickly to dangerous levels. The stress of the entire situation started to become too much to bear, which in turn raised her blood pressure even more.
Debbie continued like this for some time, but her water never broke. After 12 hours, she was only dilating to 2cm – not nearly enough for a vaginal delivery.
Broken and defeated, and barely able to think past the unbearable pain of her contractions, Debbie agreed to a C-section.
When she finally agreed, Debbie felt like she had failed.
Thankfully, her C-section went perfectly well, and her son was born perfectly healthy. Her postnatal period was perfectly fine, for the most part, but Debbie still felt like she had to “soldier on” through it. While she enjoyed motherhood, the women in her mother’s group had all given birth vaginally, and Debbie felt ostracized and jealous of them.
But she stuffed these feelings down and continued on with her life. And everything seemed to go back to normal.
It wasn’t until her second pregnancy that Debbie started to feel these emotions again.
The sensations of her pregnancy began to bring back the traumatic memories of her first. It wasn’t until this started to happen that she truly realized how traumatic her first labor really was.
Debbie developed perinatal depression, a form of clinical depression that manifests during pregnancy (and Debbie is not alone in this, as an estimated 7%-20% of mothers experience perinatal depression).
Debbie knew something had to change this time around.
Debbie hired a doula to assist her in her second pregnancy. Her doula, thankfully, was experienced and compassionate. She helped Debbie advocate for herself, and with the doula’s help, Debbie followed through with her plan for her second pregnancy.
Debbie gave birth to her second child via a drug-free VBAC (vaginal birth after C-section).
Once again, she went home with a healthy baby – but this time, she did it her own way.
Debbie was so grateful for this experience that she has since chosen to give back to other mothers. After a few years of healing and processing her experience (on top of raising two kids), Debbie joined a local support group where she mentors women who are in similar situations.
If you suffered a similar situation, you can share your story with New York Birth Injury Guide by sending an email to (address).
You can also find resources to help you and your child on our resource page.
In addition to providing resources and guidance for families suffering from birth injuries, NYBIG can help you take legal action against the parties at fault for your child’s birth injury.
You can schedule a no-cost case consultation with Merson Law PLLC at any time by clicking this link, or by visiting mersonlaw.com.
